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Lick the Blue Moon The effects start to make themselves apparent. It has been one hour since we licked the Blue Moon. Patricia is sucking my toes. Brenda takes her pants off slowly, her tongue slightly out of her mouth. She’s looking out the window as an old man walks by with a shopping cart. She presses her breasts against the glass and gyrates her hips. The man doesn’t seem to notice this vivacious black woman bouncing nipple for all within viewing distance to witness. I dive in-between Patricia’s legs to move this sexual party forward. I tried to video tape this once. It was disappointing. There was a
lot of humming and groaning. There were lots of nude bodies all over
each other…very contorted. I couldn’t tell who was who. It looked more
like a National Geographic documentary about shaved apes who wrestle than
anything with the slightest element of sexuality. |  |
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But in the middle of the action it seems like sexual
heaven. Brenda decides to defecate in the corner of my living room. The
smell would normally repulse me, but now it only accentuates my sexual
desire.
An hour goes by. An hour of being licked, orgasmed, licking and being the orgasmer. My heart and soul are filled. My sexual confidence skyrockets. The hair on my chest glistens from sweat and other juices. The effects of the Blue Moon start to wear off. I promptly get Patricia and Brenda dressed and kick them out of my house. They still want more, Brenda continues to lick my ear and cheek as I escort them out the front door. When I shut the door, Brenda and Patricia are making out on the stairs. I shut the curtains and put them out of my mind. I go upstairs and open my bible. The New Testament. Not Revelation, but the books about Jesus. Jesus’ love. His ministry. His teachings. I open a bottle of vodka and take a big chug. I unplug the telephone and lock it in my desk. I throw the key out the window into the bushes. I light a candle. I have the routine down. The next 20 minutes should be intense, so preparation is important. I start to pray.
Blue Moon 10 Blue Moon marshmallows from Lucky Charms Take 10 Blue Moon marshmallows out of a box of Lucky Charms. In a small saucepan mix Blue Moons with ¼ cup Hydrogen Peroxide and the cat urine. Cook on low heat for 5 – 7 minutes. When the contents start to bubble, remove from heat and let the mixture cool. After the Blue Moon is cooled, add ½ cup water and pour completed mixture into ice trays and freeze. Serve Blue Moons as ice cubes in drinks or in an ice tray. Some people like to lick the ice cube until it’s dissolved, while others would rather use the ice cubes in a drink to dilute the strong taste. It’s important to use the Blue Moon marshmallows in Lucky Charms. The blue dye mixed with the preservatives that Lucky Charms uses creates the perfect chemical reaction to stimulate your brain into the proper state of loss of inhibitions. Hydrogen Peroxide acts as the catalyst that allows your brain to absorb the concoction. The cat urine stabilizes the mixture and has a healing property that keeps the mixture from tearing holes in your esophagus.
It’s a spiritual high, but in the literary anti-God sense of spirituality. Not that "there is no God". But that God hates you and there is no alternative. There is no redemption. At the peek of the high you feel that God exists, but only to make sure you receive eternal damnation. Nothing can come between you and your damnation. It completely relieves any Catholic type of guilt you might be facing. It’s like you can touch God while you fornicate right in front of him. The angels even look down and take notes of your positions and your technique. This is all inside you head of course…..when I watched the video tape I made of me and my friends tripping on the Blue Moon, I promptly erased it and knew for sure the only thing the angels would be doing in this situation is laughing or making sure they had other souls to save when the drug hits our cerebellum and spinal cord. The spiritual high translates very well to sexuality. For, if God is out of the equation, all commandments are non-existent….greed takes over and wins, with no reason to be circumvented. When the effects hit, if you are in a room with a living being…..well….it’s fuckable. Does it breathe, then insert your penis. Is it alive, then open your legs and expose your throbbing vagina to the organism. A word of caution, if you are homophobic, do not do this drug with the same sex in the room, or you WILL have a homosexual experience. If you don’t want your pets to be hurt, or worse, embarrass you in front of company next week while they try to mount you like they did the other day, take them outside before the Blue Moon hits. When a room full of hallucinating boys and girls with sexual organs are under the impression that God hates them it’s easy to get into anyone’s pants you feel like. It’s fully consensual without guilt of afterlife retribution since all guilt is taken away when you know God is damning you no matter what. Another quick word of caution if you decide to experiment with this drug with others, make sure everyone is over the age of 18. I heard about one time when this 26-year-old guy did the drug with a bunch of 17-year-olds. He didn’t think to check their age since he didn’t think it was an issue. Well, the end of the story is he’s in jail and doesn’t have a nut sack anymore. The high and sexual ecstasy last for about an hour and then you start coming down. Coming down is a critical part of your experience, for all the anti-God, no guilt, eternal damnation feelings you were having switches off. As your brain re-adjusts to a normal spiritual level, your mind takes you to believing you are a close disciple of Christ. And your sins you’ve just committed are right in front of you. So you feel the extreme need to make things right with God. You want to talk to everyone in your vicinity about how Jesus saved your soul from the depths of this modern day Sodom. If no one’s in the room with you, you get your phone book out and start with A. It can get real ugly if you call your parents and start asking them if they’ve accepted Jesus as their personal savior because just last week they assumed you were Jewish. Stay away from people and get the phone out of reach. Lay down with calming candles and read the bible while drinking vodka to keep the impulse down to pull out your bull horn and start screaming about Daniels’ prophecy and how all will be accounted for during God’s day of vengeance. I’ve heard of Blue Mooners coming down with others and cutting each other all over with steak knives since they couldn’t handle the sins of their brothers and sisters of Christ as well as their own sins. It’s an amazing scenario since they all fucked each other up and down just minutes before preaching retribution. For those of you who use the Blue Moon, please be safe and don’t mess it up for the rest of us. I don’t want to go to my local grocer one day and find out all Lucky Charms are pulled from the shelves because some inbred in a trailer park played a trick on his family and dosed them at Thanksgiving.
I’m reading the book of Hebrews as I start to come down from the crash. I feel confident enough to walk outside and see how Patricia and Brenda are doing. Brenda has a bloody nose and is laying on my front step while Patricia sits beside her smoking a cigarette. What happened? I got self-righteous and preached to her about the lasting benefits of Jesus Christ. She kept kissing me and feeling my tits, so I smacked her. Don’t worry, we’re coming down. Is she all right? Yeah, just slightly passed out. She kept mumbling while she fell in and out of sleep, asking for a bible and a crucifix, so I think we’re almost in the clear. Hey, is my memory serving me correctly, did she take a dump in your front room? Flashback to a shitting Brenda, a beautiful, curvy black woman squatting in my front room and relieving her bowel while Patricia gives me a blowjob. I walk back into the house and get out the soap and a bucket of water.
End Notes: Optic Nerve #7 (thanks Miles
Montalbano) |